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Joke of the Day
"Is that a Nexus 6 or are you just happy to see me?"
Next Joke
"Boss:Why is your voice gone? Are you ok? Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's ""Dangerous Woman""* I'm ok...allergies are bad."
"2014: lost 10 lbs, saved $135, ate $135 worth of candy, gained 10 lbs"
"Why are waste facility managers so successful? Because they're always on top of their shit!"
"It's not that hard to tell alligators and crocodiles apart... ...One will see you later, whereas the other will see you in a while."
"Cliffhangers I like cliffhangers, and I cannot"
"What do you get when you cross an aged marsupial with a con game? The old switcheroo."
"What is the difference between a Snowman and a Snow-woman? Snowballs."
"What do potheads do when they see a fire? Stop, drop, and roll"
"My wife has just given birth for the first time.... I don't know who I feel more sorry for, my son for being ginger or my wife for having to bring him up on her own."