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Joke of the Day

"Me: Guess what Her: What Me: The opposite of Aquaman Her: ... Me: Is Landlady Her: ... Me: ... Her: Your rent is still due tomorrow Me: Ok"

"I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I shoulda cooked it at aloha temperature."

"Why can't Mexicans cross the border in three's? Because there's no TRESpassing"

"[Question] Where did that offensive joke post go? I'm pretty sure I saved it to make reference to eventually and now I cannot find it. There was some gold in there."

"I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with a baseball bat."

"Your honor, may I approach the bench? Judge: You may *benches 200lbs in 3 sets of 20 reps* The defense rests"

"What can you find between the toes of the African elephant? Slow Africans."

"What repulsive awful thing can be found in a black persons clothes? The black person."

"Chicago launched an innovative new ride-sharing program today and the way it works is some guy stole my bike."

"The symptoms of Ebola... ... are sweating, weakness, diarrhoea & stomach pains. The exact same kind of feeling that a husband gets when he sees his wife going through his phone and messages .."