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Joke of the Day

"Chicago launched an innovative new ride-sharing program today and the way it works is some guy stole my bike."

"Did you hear about the new in-flight corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere"

"All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they're being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing."

"Why did jimmy eat his Homework? Because the previous day, the teacher told her students; ""Don't worry guys, it's gonna be a piece of cake""."

"Guys, if a girl just wants to ""be friends,"" then borrow $100 from her and never pay her back. Like a ""friend"" would."

"There was a really horrible sound coming from my car, so I asked Siri to identify it. Skrillex."

"Looking Forward by Felix Ited"

"Never refer to a woman as a bitch. Instead, refer to her as beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful."

"If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year."

"Tower: Lufthansa 893 you're number one check for workers on the taxiway. Pilot: Roger ..... We've checked they're all working."