95768

Joke of the Day

"Wanna talk about Sodium? Na Nitric Oxide? NO Oxygen Magnesium Phosphorus Iodine Sulfur or Fluorine? OMg PISS OFF ...Potassium? K"

"Took a random unmarked pill I found on the floor because times are tough and no matter what happens it'll make for good tweets."

"Why will people with MS never be great artists? They only have MS Paint"

"How do you kill bread? Bake it for a little while, and it will be toast."

"Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket? Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair."

"How many Amish guys does it take it satisfy an Amish whore? Two men-a-night!"

"Why can't girls play hockey? Their pads can't last three periods"

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a spider What a web of lies!"

"I hate working with customers I've gotta say ""hi"" all the time. (Tove Lo)"

"I married what some might call a ""trophy wife""... Unfortunately, she wasn't 1st place."