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Joke of the Day

"I hate working with customers I've gotta say ""hi"" all the time. (Tove Lo)"

"My girlfriend complained about my obsession with spices. So I said, ""Bae, leave."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brook ! Brook who ? Brook-lyn bridge !"

"Why can't feminists change a light bulb? Because no matter how many you have they still can't change shit."

"A man was applying for a job in the navy So, the interviewer said. ""Can you swim."" The man looked puzzled and asked. ""Why, did you run out of ships?"""

"Netflix, stop making me wait 15 seconds between episodes. I can't click because I'm eating cereal and a sandwich."

"I held the door ... open for a gorgeous blonde at the bar last night. My wife said, ""You've never held the door open for me."" I said, ""What about that time you threatened to leave?"""

"My SO is on a diet and I noticed she was staring at her food so I asked why..... She said 'I'm watching what I eat'."

"What is brown and sticky? Shit."

"There once was ... There once was a fellow named Wes, who tried to make his comments the best, although sometimes he missed, he never expected to get dissed, but some redditors downvoted nonetheless."