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Joke of the Day

"Took a random unmarked pill I found on the floor because times are tough and no matter what happens it'll make for good tweets."

"Seeing another person with synesthesia... is like music to my eyes."

"What terrorist group have the most cold blooded killers. ICES ASSASINS... (isis pun).."

"Nice tan, what's your race? Carrot?"

"Why don't Amish people water ski? Because their horses would drown."

"What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? Bronchitis (bronc-itis)."

"I like camping but... it's so in tents"

"When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring... When she was in a good mood, it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead..."

"I tried googling Wiz Khalifa ... But all I found was MIa Khalifa peeing ."

"5 Jewish ladies sitting at the table in the restaurant... ...waiter comes by few minutes after the food was delivered to the table and asks: -Ladies, is ANYTHING ok?"