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Joke of the Day
"Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?!!!"
Next Joke
"pilot: [via intercom] if you dont shut up back there i will stop this plane co-pilot: [quieter] wont it fall out the sky pilot: not now gary"
"My friend recently broke up with his girlfriend... I said ""There's plenty of fish in the sea."" and he replied ""Yeah, but it's not just the smell I miss."""
"What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAAAA"
"what do a divorce and a tornado have in common in west virginia? either way you lose the trailer"
"Once I walked across a road when the light was red. I felt so bad I went back and waited for the light to turn green."
"The Titanic was built to last, let that sink in."
"My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish."
"I like vegans! I meant vagina's!"
"Is your smart fridge running? ""Yes? Well can you turn the damn thing off, it's breaking the Internet!"""