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Joke of the Day

"Once I walked across a road when the light was red. I felt so bad I went back and waited for the light to turn green."

"Happy Columbus Day! The man invented OUR modern work culture! He set out to do somethin, stumbled upon somethin else & took credit for it!"

"[1st date] Me: ""So, what do you do?"" Her: ""I'm a Herpetologist."" Me: ""Great! [pulls pants down] How bad is this?"""

"*speed dating* I'm a competitive eater! Date: Are you any good? [grabbing my suitcase, dumping 45 hotdogs on table] funny you should ask"

"What's green and flies over Germany ? Snazis. This insanely corny joke brought to you by my Dad, circa 1990. May he rest in peace!"

"What does Green Day say before bed? Green night"

"It's as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before."

""" Let me be perfectly clear"" - My Aquarium"

"The woman's bumper sticker claimed she was pro-life... ...but her reckless driving suggested otherwise."

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A watermelon."