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Joke of the Day

"I once left a love note on the wrong car, so yeah, you should totally trust me with important paperwork."

"What do you call blonde girls in a wrapper? Airheads"

"Doing shots with a bunch of coked-up velociraptors."

"What limitations does braille have? Can it represent everything that we read using the alphabet? Very limited fonts."

"mL m^3 gallons quart barrel This post speaks volumes."

"I've been listening to Spice Girls for hours now..and I need to stop.. so I told my self to stop.. Stop right now....... thank you very much, I need somebo..... GOD Damn IT!!"

"If you don't pay your exorcist... You may get repossessed."

"Why are there no casinos in China? They hate Tibet."

"This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies."

"Who thought blowing out candles on a cake was a good tradition? Ah yes; wax would go well with this cake and you know what else? Child spit."