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Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my viruses. Safely contained on my laptop."
Next Joke
"Italian Guy with a problem What do you call an Italian guy with one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment :)"
"A complete list of movie roles turned down by Nicolas Cage:"
"If twitter users are sued, lawyers will have to analyse over 4 giggs of data. Imogen that..."
"Life is that reality show character wearing a leopard print caftan saying ""Yer either gonna love me or hate me, I just tell it like it is"""
"My IQ test results just came in and I'm really relieved. Thank God it's negative."
"""well i asked asked her to move in after 3 months but i don't think-"" [cop interrupts me] do you know how fast you were going IN YOUR CAR"
"The ones you keep closest to your heart hurt you the most. Like the underwire in my bra that tried to stab me."
"What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull!"
"If you want to stop a bad habit... eat a cyanide capsule"