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Joke of the Day

"What is the Revenant about? The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar."

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well-hung."

"What do the Montreal Canadians and marijuana addicts have in common? Both of them smoke the leafs"

"Q: April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? A: Pilgrims."

"Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman."

"[job interview] ""Have any questions?"" Think the 3 Little Pigs hired the Big Bad Wolf to blow their houses down to collect insurance money?"

"Just my luck... ""I sure do like your finger in my pussy, but your ring hurts."" ""Uh, I'm not wearing any rings. Baby, that's my wristwatch..."""

"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."

"I smoke pot because I have a very serious problem. I have this medical condition where I don't realize how good poptarts taste. Source: Sarah Silverman"

"In my will I am leaving everything to the imagination."