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Joke of the Day

"What is the Revenant about? The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar."

"What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde ? A jet setter !"

"There's a theory that Princess Diana had dandruff. They found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas? Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet."

"Eomer gets off of his horse and says, ""What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?"" A nearby horseman answers, ""Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"""

"Why do so many Australian men experience premature ejeculation? Because they can`t wait to get out and tell all their friends about scoring."

"If i was the Grinch, I wouldn't steal Christmas. I'd steal you."

"Dentist to parsimonious patient ""No we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde!"""

"Turning water into wine is pretty cool but turning kale and celery into $9.50 is a miracle"

"How do they perform abortions at Hogwarts? Fetus Deletus"