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Joke of the Day

"What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage? Feyonce"

"Them: Pleasure to meet you. Me: Give it time."

"What is worse, ignorance or indifference? I don't know and I don't care"

"Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well? Her coach was a pumpkin"

"The clock was bored of his tick-tock... ...so he changed to a better tack-tick."

"What did the pedophile say when he got out of jail ? ""I feel like a kid again"""

"[sees old friend after 4 years] ""God, you were so fat back in school."" ""Yeah, well I lost a lot of it last year."" ""No you didn't."""

"Apparently they're making a Middle Eastern version of 'The Flintstones'... And they're going to call it 'Modern Family.'"

"So in The Matrix they feed you the liquified remains of the dead through a tube but you get to sleep and be online all day? I'm listening."

"UBER: Sounds better than ""Let's get in this strange man's car!"""