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Joke of the Day
"Isis released a statement saying, ""Fuck Tom Brady!"" Turns out they heard that he is the G.O.A.T."
Next Joke
"My phone just replaced the word ""killed"" with ""kilt."" Well plaid, phone... Well plaid."
"When I was young I wanted to be smart, like my dad ... he also wants to be smart!"
"TIL how to keep an idiot waiting I'll let you know tomorrow."
"I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It's like they don't know I plan on cropping them out later."
"Perfect timing! This lined up perfectly couldn't resist! http://imgur.com/zR7wcds"
"Certain people have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves But I don't like to point fingers"
"My favorite sex position is the JFK It's when I splat all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car"
"I would tell a mexican joke.. I would tell a Mexican joke but that would be crossing the border.."
"Taylor Swift told Vanity Fair she's not a ""clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend"" through various voicemails and texts at 3 AM"