180431

Joke of the Day

"Certain people have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves But I don't like to point fingers"

"*gets taste of own medicine* Yep this is my medicine"

"Just walked past a girl with a Banksy tattoo on her arm. She must be a really deep sleeper!"

"ME: im nervous GIRLFRIEND: dont be M: what are some of his interests GF: he likes football [later] GF'S DAD: nice to meet u M: *tackles him*"

"Mexican and black jokes are all the same.. Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal."

"Was invited into a group DM called procrastinators, it's been two weeks I'm still waiting to be added.... *my kind of people"

"A man with Schizophrenia says: ""I used to be Schizophrenic... but now we're better."""

"I've never played Jenga, but I have had to extricate myself from a sleeping toddler in my bed, so I think I could handle it."

"A conservative is beating a liberal in a debate [removed]"

"What do farmers say when something is important to them? It plays a big tractor."