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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes down the chimney"

"Do they really need to add 'Alive' to 'Sexiest Man' or am I grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world?"

"What do you call a dog with lice in China? Full course dinner"

"So, I measured my penis with one of those digital rulers... ...Anyone know how to convert LOL into inches?"

"We should all give Earth a one star rating on TripAdvisor so hostile aliens won't want to come here."

"How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, first off, it's called a lamp..."

"An Irishman walks past a bar..."

"Why do single men live longer than married men? Because they want to."

"Apparently ""some assembly required"" is IKEA for ""here's a beech tree and some nails."""

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? Me: Cuz you SMELLED THIS DONUT? *tosses donut out window* Cop: ... Me: Aren't you gonna go get- Cop: Get out."