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Joke of the Day

"We should all give Earth a one star rating on TripAdvisor so hostile aliens won't want to come here."

"My WD-40 can rusted. Now that's irony."

"I had sex with this girl for 1 hour and 45 seconds last night.... Thanks daylight savings."

"I don't understand why whiteboards don't get more recognition.. If you think about, they truly are re-markable!"

"I like my women like the World Trade Centers Tall, hot, and going down"

"What do you call a pile of cats? a Meowtain"

"3 unwritten rules of life 1) 2) 3)"

"My wife hates the way I introduce her to people in public. ""THIS is my wife.."" *looks down at the ground *sighs *kicks can"

"How do you make a tissue dance? put a little boogie in it"

"A co-worker is retiring, so they're passing a card around filled with cash. I only took $10 but normally my signature is worth much more."