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Joke of the Day

"What kind of tree smells like bacon? (Original?) A Porcupine!"

"Why does it feel like time slows down during the day when you're at work and rapidly speeds up at night when you get home?"

"Probably too soon... But it looks like Peaches Geldof doesn't like Mondays, either."

"Free Tibet with the purchase of a Tibet of equal or lesser value."

"My boss yelled at me yesterday ""It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!"" I said, ""Probably that it's Friday?""..."

"My girlfriend said period jokes aren't funny... So I ended up throwing away 3 pages of jokes i had written about the Victorian era."

"Why was the pig in the kitchen? It was bacon."

"It's amazing the little things you learn about your kids as they grow everyday. For example today I learned my 3yo is kind of a mean drunk."

"The Discovery Channel is filming a new series about my ex-wife. It is called Deadliest Snatch"

"The people in this spin class are looking at me like they've never seen a girl with a helmet before."