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Joke of the Day

"It took me just 30 minutes to get the Christmas tree up yesterday... It took surgeons 4 hours to get it back out again."

"What's wrong with 5 Clinton supporters driving a Cadillac off of a cliff? The car holds 6. (It also works for Trump supporters- try it!)"

"My wife's sexual fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. I think she misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman."

"Breaking news... The news truck has split in half, our traffic report website is down, and the studio seems to be having trouble with this sound system."

"Why is it hard for Arab men to have a guy's night out? They have to find babysitters for their wives."

"Yo mama is so fat... That the sorting hat put her in the waffle house!"

"""You know your addiction is bad when you lie and say you're at the gym when really you're out shopping"" is the title of my autobiography."

"What do you call a German barber? Herr Kutz (This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)"

"There was a woman trapped inside a Safeway, She was found dead of starvation the next morning."

"Why did the man call his horse Fleabag? Because he was often scratched!"