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Joke of the Day

"Which book has the worst cliffhanger? Anne Frank's Diary"

"How did Jared lose 40 pounds? He dumped his girlfriend"

"I turned into a cat earlier. Don't ask meow."

"Why did the bike fall over? Because it was two tired."

"A man is being arrested by a female police officer she informs him, ""Anything you say can and will be held against you."" ""Anything?"" he asks with a smirk ""Anything."" ""Tits please"""

"me [filing a claim with the insurance company after the basement flooded] We had a pony down there too"

"My buddy told me this one: ""People think I'm ugly until they see my bank account"" ""Then they think I'm ugly and poor."""

"The hardest thing about being a Pink Floyd fan... ...is watching a vegetarian eat pudding."

"One time a girl tried sleeping with me for adderall... She was a total attention whore."

"Venus Williams has blamed her first round exit at Wimbledon to the balls not bouncing correctly. May I suggest for her to try some better fitting underwear?"