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Joke of the Day

"My buddy told me this one: ""People think I'm ugly until they see my bank account"" ""Then they think I'm ugly and poor."""

"What's the most important part of a terrorist joke? The execution. ( )"

"Have you ever walked into a room and forgot what you went in for? I done it the other day, I walked in and completely forgot why - my mind went blank. 3 seconds later I shat myself."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an Oscar? He was out standing in his field."

"Cliffs are so great... But they have one downside"

"*loads dryer* Fitted Sheet: HE'S BURNING US ALIVE! COME, SHIRT! COME, PANTS! HOP IN MY BOSOM AND I WILL FORM A PROTECTIVE BALL OF MOISTURE!"

"All i'm saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first."

"The evil tongues speak ill. The good tongues give orgasms."

"How do you find Will Smith in winter? You follow the Fresh Prince"

"This hot weather... The thing I love most about this hot weather is the crop tops and short skirts... Although it does make me look a bit gay."