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Joke of the Day

"Lets go to the symphony Beethoven: You guys want some symphonies tonight!? Crowd: **cheers loudly** Beethoven: I can't hear you!"

"An original joke about Mathew and Not-Mathew. Me:Mathew and Not-Mathew were on a boat. Mathew fell off the boat. Who was left? You:Not-Mathew. Me:Yeah Mathew was the one who fell out. Idiot."

"Movember I've decided to buck the trend of Movember this year by not growing a moustache. I'm calling it No-Movember.... Or for short, November."

"Have you heard about the new Corduroy Pillow? It's been making headlines."

"Elevator A man walks into an elevator occupied by a woman. He asks, ""Can I smell your feet?"" She says, ""Certainly not!"" He says, ""Hmmm, must be your pussy then."""

"Her eyes were the color of paint"

"Twitter has no plot, millions of characters, & it never ends. Basically, it's a ""Hobbit"" movie."

"How to tell if someone has Rhotacism? Ask them to pronounce it."

"In a recent sleep study performed by clowns 9 out of 10 people didn't even know they were being watched."

"Are you a cop from New York? Because you take my breath away."