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Joke of the Day

"Me:Come in. It's not like I'm a serial killer. Him:*laughs nervously* Me: *laughing* u have to murder more than 2 ppl for it to be serial"

"why do women fake orgasms? because they think men care."

"I don't really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there."

"My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn't have enough on her plate."

"What do you call a centipede with no legs An amputede"

"the worst part about a shark eating your legs off is when you realise your wallet was in your pocket"

"A man walks in on his roommate, Internet, crying in the other room. When he asks why, Internet sobs: ""Everything I touch turns gay!"""

"When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?!? Now I would date him for the prescriptions."

"Brain problem On the left side, there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left."

"A proctologist walks into a bar Hostess: Would you like to take a stool or grab a seat? Doctor: Hell no, just a beer, I do that all day."