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Joke of the Day

"When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?!? Now I would date him for the prescriptions."

"Alien 1: What are the Humans doing? Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I."

"They say not to go to the grocery store when you're hungry, but I ran out of food and few days ago, and it's just getting worse. :("

"Why was the crocodile taking viagra? He was suffering from eREPTILE disfunction."

"There's two things I hate in this world 1) People who can't count"

"What do Donald Trump and JFK have in common? Nothing.. Yet."

"May you always be the one looking confused standing in the back of a group selfie"

"Me: Leonard Nimoy died today. Co-worker: From Star Wars? *goes home* Wife: How was your day? Me: Leonard Nimoy and a co-worker died today."

"*slides a cheese slice with my number written on it in your pocket*"

"What do you call a crocodile in a band? A crocstar"