95045

Joke of the Day

"The Michelin Man is the most racist mascot in corporate history, because TIRES ARE BLACK."

"Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?"

"I had a dream last night that I killed all those shirtless guys with ""swag"" and their duck-face girlfriends too. It was the Yolocaust."

"Did you hear about the golfer that bedded the Queen? He got a hole in one."

"I don't get why the people in the twin towers were upset on 9/11... I mean, the workers did get razes."

"My son is fashion conscious and likes Disney show tunes. I think we need to have THE TALK. No son of mine is gonna raid my lingerie closet."

"I once got so drunk I put shaving cream on my face & used an electric shaver. Then poured a glass of wine on my face b/c I had no aftershave"

"*Meninist meeting* WOMEN ARE EVIL- *phone rings* Uhh just a second... *picks up phone* Mom not while I'm doing my club! Yes, pizza tonight."

"What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other? Binary stars."

"She died doing what she loved: Running for her life in the wrong direction."