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Joke of the Day

"I had a dream last night that I killed all those shirtless guys with ""swag"" and their duck-face girlfriends too. It was the Yolocaust."

"Why don't parrot's like black people? Because Polly wants a cracker."

"I will not kill my coworkers I will not kill my coworkers I will not.... Maybe just one..."

"Steven Gerrard has had the worst ending for a Captain Since the Titanic!"

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my dick up your ass."

"What did Barack say to Michelle when he proposed? I don't want to be Obama self."

"When I grow up I want to make two Rugrats pornos... Rugrats: All Grown Up & Rugrats Go Wild."

"""Heres your social security card, you need it forever! Its made of paper, don't laminate it. Good luck."" -The Government"

"My 5 year old's original joke My son came up with this one. Clever, I thought. What has one wheel, spins, but never moves? A Ferris wheel."

"As i lay in bed at night... As i lay in bed at night and stare up at the stars, i couldn't help but wonder, ""where the hell did my roof go"""