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Joke of the Day

"*Meninist meeting* WOMEN ARE EVIL- *phone rings* Uhh just a second... *picks up phone* Mom not while I'm doing my club! Yes, pizza tonight."

"How does a **real** man know when a woman is having an orgasm? Who gives a fuck?"

"[in space] ASTRONAUT: Up here you can have delusions ME: Haha I don't think so A: They can seem real GANDALF: Don't believe him ME: I don't"

"Walking down the street today someone handed me a free air guitar... No strings attached..."

"How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu? One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment"

"My superpower is understanding iPhone text typos."

"You shouldn't make racist jokes about Asians who cant drive when its raining Its a slippery slope"

"My wife had me take out more life insurance and now there's no grip left on the bath mat. Weird."

"12yo: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What's wrong with the one we live in? 12yo: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son."

"Who is the hardest person to find in hide and seek? Daniel Morcombe"