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Joke of the Day

"My son is fashion conscious and likes Disney show tunes. I think we need to have THE TALK. No son of mine is gonna raid my lingerie closet."

"Who is the best Native American to have around when you have a cold? The Hanky chief (Yes this is all my own work, I thank you) [No I am not a dad]"

"On a scale of 1-10 how retarded do you think we, as humans, are? 9/11"

"To make my guests comfortable, I always put a sign in the bathroom that says ""Don't worry, I cleaned, those are permanent stains."""

"Cheer up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president , until after serving 27 years in prison ."

"Have you heard about the curator of the Slavic History exhibit? He's forever Russian around, Czeching that everything gets Polished"

"The elevators are broken & I work on the 17th floor. Pretty sure I'm the first person ever to use the phone in reception to call in sick."

"I heard Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Black and willing to choke me a little bit."

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles"