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Joke of the Day
"What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room"
Next Joke
"Whenever I meet someone for the first time, I avoid telling Titanic jokes because they're terrible at breaking the ice."
"What did J. Robert Oppenheimer say after inventing the weedwhacker? ""I am become death, destroyer of weeds."""
"I wait til the mailman comes to send all my emails in front of him while keeping eye contact and whispering ""Your end is nigh, letter boy."""
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"Him: You drank all that Coke? Me: Well, with my rum.. Him: ... Me: ... Me: How many beers did you have today? Him: Good talk, honey."
"Whaddya call a know-it-all from Europe? a Shure-opean"
"I'm done drinking for good... Now I drink for Evil."
"Chuck Norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox."
"DATE: so...this is your place? ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes"