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Joke of the Day

"What did J. Robert Oppenheimer say after inventing the weedwhacker? ""I am become death, destroyer of weeds."""

"what does a programmer and a photo have in common? They develop better in the dark"

"What do Mountain folk do on Halloween? Pumpkin."

"What's the hardest part about winning crossfit? Being 5 foot 6"

"Old man at the gym just told.me this one. Women asks me:""do you smoke after intercourse?"" I don't know, I haven't looked"

"My worst fear is seeing one of my tweets marked as ""exhibit A"""

"What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny."

"I've never had personalized license plates, but don't worry, I still know how to waste most of my discretionary income."

"Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber. It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."