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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING NEWS ON FACEBOOK! Pam wants everyone to know what a great husband Don has been these last 8 years & for making her so very happy!"

"My Thai girlfriend says penis size shouldn't matter in a healthy and loving relationship. I still wish she didn't have one."

"I got a job as a bounty hunter in China. Couldn't believe my luck, every time they put a new wanted poster up, the guy they were after was standing right next to me!"

"BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired"

"I told my friend that he can do anything he puts his mind to... ...he told me to lick my own pussy."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef."

"Why did the gynecologist giggle during the pap smear? I don't know. It was an inside joke."

"So I'm trying to get my husband to go to Paris with me but so far my best argument has been, ""I will kill you in your sleep."""

"How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool."

"My girlfriend left me 6 weeks ago because she thinks I'm immature. Now I'm all alone on Christmas day and crying my eyes out because Santa didn't come."