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Joke of the Day

"So I'm trying to get my husband to go to Paris with me but so far my best argument has been, ""I will kill you in your sleep."""

"TIL Bill Cosby was staunchly against the laugh track on ""The Cosby Show."" But the studio didn't know what Bill meant by ""snore track."""

"Violinists are so brave. They fret not."

"Cant' believe my horse came first yesterday!!' Dad, how many times have I told you i'm not interested in your's and Camilla's bedroom antics!'"

"I've deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo."

"AOL had the largest growing Stock in 2012 I write jokes and put them on my phone number. 1-855-333-4469. Here's a video that supports the jokes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YaFbKvEw9c"

"What is the definition of a caterpillar ? A worm in a fur coat !"

"If being sexy is a crime then I'm not committing one."

"Knock, knock..........Goliath Knock, knock. Who's there? Goliath. Goliath who? Goliath down -- you looketh tired"

"I have friends who swear they dream in colour but it's just a pigment of their imagination"