94922

Joke of the Day

"How many moths does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know. (Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage)"

"I just don't understand these dirty cocktail names anymore... ...what on earth is a Penis Collider?"

"How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway."

"Asked a friend if the hotel in town was hiring. ""I don't know, I bet you could check into it, though."""

"There was a blackout in my neighbourhood last night....... The police told us to stay inside until they caught him."

"Policeman: Why were you asleep at the wheel? Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep."

"Uber dressed up some of their vehicles as Star Wars Stormtroopers in Manhattan... I wouldn't mind riding one of those. They won't hit anything."

"Leather jackets are great for sneaking up on people. They're made of hide."

"I don't feel strongly enough about anything to take the time to join a protest. Unless, maybe, there was some big threat against pizza."

"*accidentally likes a hot girl's photo of a sandwich from 3 years ago*"