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Joke of the Day

"Instead of just answering the phone when it rings, I prefer to wonder why the hell someone's calling me and glare at it until it goes away."

"You should never criticize a Muslim... until you've walked a mile in their suicide vest."

"Matthew McConaughey's car can't make left turns. This is very dangerous. He should get that repaired"

"I was thinking about making a sodium joke ...but Na."

"What do you call a bodyless person, without a nose? Nobody Nose."

"I was drinking at a bar so i took the bus home Seemed like a good idea at the time but i've never driven a bus before..."

"Whats does dissecting a frog and explaining a joke have in common? Sure, you know how it works, but now it's dead."

"why do nice girls always go for the assholes? I don't even like pegging."

"The Smart Kid A child asks his father: - Daddy, where did I get my intelligence from? - From your mother, I think. I still have mine."

"French Guns for sale! Never Fired, dropped only once."