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Joke of the Day

"My GF and I would kick ass at the newlywed game. I know 100% of her answers to questions is "" I don't know""."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station, and one's a busty crustacean."

"I apologized to the librarian if I appeared desperate, after all... I asked her to check me out..."

"Did you hear about the movie based on an Australian dystopian future society? Apparently it's a cross between Idiocracy and Mad Max....it's called Bogan's Run..."

"I eat a wide variety of foods: lasagna, tacos, hamburgers... and dim sum."

"""Hell no!"" A man and woman are riding up in an elevator. The man looks at the woman and says, ""Can I smell your pussy?"" She replies, ""Hell no!"" The man says, ""Well, it must be your feet then."""

"Which burgers love to act? Ham-burgers!"

"Ive got an idea for a Halloween party costume... I'll go only in my pants so when people ask what I'm whereing I'll say, "" Im premature ejaculation, so I just came in my pants."""

"No thanks Kentucky Derby. If I wanted to see a defenseless animal get beat into submission I'd just call my boss."

"So, Bruce Jenner wants to become a women, eh? He's already got the driving part down. http://www.npr.org/2015/02/08/384663218/bruce-jenner-involved-in-fatal-car-crash"