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Joke of the Day

"Marathon runner: I think we're lost. Why does that sign say Grand Canyon? Are you sure this is the right way? Lemming: Just trust me, ok?"

Next Joke
 
"I have a girlfriend named Refrigerator She always opens up to me"
"Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs I stole this joke from somewhere..."
"What do you need to split a photon? A lightsabre"
"[takes e-cig from guy beside me & takes a hit] dude, your e-cig is broken GUY BESIDE ME: give me back my clarinet"
"""Are you sexually active?"" [Flashback to that one time I sat in a chair a girl was just sitting in and it still felt warm.] ""Yes."""
"""I got you this for Valentine's Day."" [she opens the box and reveals several People magazines inside] ""I think we should see other people."""
"What Do Bernie Sander Supporters Call Their Parents? Roommates"
"What does a gang say on December 25th? Merry Crips-mas"
"You say you're an atheist, yet you tell people they can ""go to hell!"" Make up your mind already."