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Joke of the Day

"""Are you sexually active?"" [Flashback to that one time I sat in a chair a girl was just sitting in and it still felt warm.] ""Yes."""

"I deleted all my german friends off my phone... Its now Hans free."

"Just remember Mom, you can't spell ""disappointment"" without ""appointment"" which reminds me I have to be at Hooters at 9 for my interview."

"What is best to drink while eating Jewshi (Jewish sushi)? Oh, any kind of He-brew would be fine, I guess."

"What do a cannibal's dinner and a christmas treat have in common? They're both a pan o' Tony."

"I have a friend who is really into Christianity... ...he goes to church religiously."

"What's 10 inches long and white? Nothing."

"Sex with an optometrist can be so tedious... ""better this way or that way? This way or that way? This way or that way? ..."""

"I've been thinking of getting into the warehousing business... I've heard it's blowing up in China"

"What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long? Polaroids. ^I ^know, ^that ^was ^god ^awful."