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Joke of the Day

"Another Calculus Joke (Pun) Don't drink and derive!"

"I wanted to roll a joint but i didn't have any paper. Lucky that i still had my iphone.."

"Alien 1: What are the Humans doing? Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I."

"""I'm leaving you"" ""why?"" ""Your jokes are old and tiresome"" ""but, I can updog"" ""What's updog?"" ""NOTHIN, WHAT'S UP WI-"" *slams door*"

"I was going to tell a joke about sodium... But then I said ""Na, I'll do it later."""

"Saint Peter in Heaven So, I was in the mood for some ""Saint Peter in the gates of Heaven"" jokes... Anyone have something?"

"I used to think that Sarah Palin was a closed minded conservative Christian. ... but then I found out she is also into palm reading."

"I don't see why everyone is up in arms about Oscar Pistorius.... Haven't we all woken up legless and fired a few into the missus?"

"Is there big money in the cattle business? So I've herd!"

"...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool."