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Joke of the Day

"I was just thinking about my ex girlfriend and how great her breasts were. It was a real trip down mammary lane."

"So I fucked this bitch last night, but she was really clingy. I asked a friend for his insight, he said ""Yeah man, golden retrievers can be like that sometimes."""

"if evolution isnt real then sombody please explain how my couch has ""evolved"" to fit the shape of my butte"

"What month was King Kong born in? Ape-ril"

"What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless."

"In my opinion, the most important part of any meal is the ingredients"

"What's the difference between an Afghan Military Base and a Pakistani School? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"PC gamers don't take hot showers. They take Steam-y ones."

"Why do stormtroopers make good drivers? They won't ever hit anything."

"My gf told me to stop pretending i'm amy winehouse I said no, no, no"