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Joke of the Day

"To ensure that my wife will truly miss me when I go on trips, right before I leave I put a few spiders in the bedroom."

"What do you call two black people bargaining on terms? A Negrotiation"

"I've recently been diagnosed as delusional. Edit: Thanks for my first Reddit gold, people!"

"It's oddly fitting that most Americans celebrate Presidents' Day by taking the day off and not doing the job they were hired to do."

"Did you know PMS is mentioned in the Bible? ""...and Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."""

"How can you teach Jamals and Juans? Just toss em banana, they will suck for it"

"""10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You're Going Straight to Hell"" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments"

"I don't find dead comedians funny Probably because they're post-humourous."

"What is a duck's favorite drug? Quack (Sorry for wasting your time)"

"Hearing someone say 'first world problems' is now almost worse than many third world problems."