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Joke of the Day

"Had to sober up in a hurry this morning so I chugged a few Coors lights."

"Why were the Persians attracted to the Anatolian Greeks? Because they were Ionic."

"[at the airport] Customs: Do you have any drugs in your bag, Ma'am? Me: Sure. What can I get you?"

"Have you ever been on the Nile River? I heard it does on for miles and niles and niles... If you don't believe me, you may be in denial."

"Jared Fogle likes his women how he likes his subs 6 and 12 (I know it's an old one)"

"What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist? Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned."

"Why did the french guy not help his friend fix a pipe? He said he would assister."

"Don't ever go camping. That shit's intense."

"My GF said she wanted to try in the other hole. I'm afraid she might get pregnant, what should I do ?"

"Have you heard about the new car from Israel? Not only does it stop on the dime, but it picks it up too!"