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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist? Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned."

"Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate? Because he was running on CP time."

"What do you call a gigolo you don't pay? A Free Willy."

"Thursday is like your high school boyfriend. It feels good but you know something better is right around the corner."

"There should be more than one kind of handicapped parking placard. ""I have no legs"" and ""My knees gave out at 350 lbs"" aren't the same."

"I wish that my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply"

"What do you call a potato that thinks he is in charge? A Dictator"

"Who is the communist leader of r/Jokes ? Chairman Lmao"

"Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one of your friends your ex is going to sleep with next"