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Joke of the Day

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishmen? 0"

"""And now it's time for Guess How Many Belly Rubs I Want! Remember, contestants, guess wrong and you get the claws!"" - Cat game shows"

"I wrote in my diary and went through it with a bright yellow marker. It was the hi lite of my day."

"In Finland when a baby is born you just whip a bunch of magnetic letters at the fridge and that's its name."

"How do Malaysian airlines serve all their drinks? On the rocks"

"What's the difference between a bomb vest and a feminist? A bomb vest does something when it's triggered."

"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito."

"I went up to a sexy girl in a bar. I said, ""Would you like to come back to my place?"" ""I think you should ask my boyfriend first."" she smiled. I said, ""No thanks. I'm not gay."""

"[edits wikipedia so the facts i made up for my school paper work]"

"I just tried drinking orange juice with pulp in it and I finally understand why women don't like to"