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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bomb vest and a feminist? A bomb vest does something when it's triggered."

"*consoling friend who is a baker* I'm really sorry about the fire at your bread shop. Looks like your business is toast now."

"What's the definition of endless love? A tennis match between Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder"

"I was at the inventor of the USB stick's funeral yesterday..... They lowered his coffin into the ground, then raised it back up, turned it around, and lowered it back down again."

"What is the greatest shock ever? While having sex with pregnant woman a hand grabs your dick from inside."

"Waiter there is a cockroach on my steak ! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !"

"My wife is like Pokemon Soon as I throw out my balls she runs off."

"Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?"

"What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock? A Nokia"

"Bought some shoes from my drug dealer Pretty shitty ones though, he's a drug dealer, not a shoe salesman."