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Joke of the Day

"My son came home from school in tears and told me that his girlfriend had slept with his best friend. I was flattered, I never knew I was his best friend."

"My mom told me to go to my happy place so I pulled out my phone and went to Reddit."

"Nothing's Ever Right by Mona Lott"

"I like watching children run around at the park. They don't realize I'm using blanks."

"Some say that the Mongols created the first iteration of the Ideal Gas Law. After all, they were pneumatic experts."

"Lots of people cry while chopping onions. The trick is to not form an emotional attachment."

"When I was young our phones didn't have internet, they had SNAKE!"

"What's the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm."

"My roommate confronted me yesterday... Do you think I'm a nosy bastard? No! Of course not! Then why did you write that in your diary!"

"What did they suicidal news reporter say when they went on air? Lets get right into the noose."