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Joke of the Day

"How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? Nine. One to change the light bulb, and eight to beat the room for being dark."

"If your uncle jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?"

"So a UKIP Councillor says God... is punishing the UK with floods cos of the gays. If my sex life effected the weather so much, why aren't we going through a long long dry spell?"

"Dad just dropped this at my cousin's 8th birthday party...I was the only one to burst out laughing.. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"There were two guys fishing... Suddenly a hedgehog passes by and asks them: -""Hey guys do you have any glue""? They answer no and he leaves. Ten minutes later he comes back. -""I brought some"""

"Damn girl are you my dad? Because you're not there"

"Just found this hillarious joke I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"My great grandpa died in the holocaust. He fell off his gaurd post."

"What is a fatass' favorite kind of computer a big mac"

"1. Change last name to Crunch. 2. Join the military. 3. Work my way up to Captain. 4. Become Captain Crunch. 5. WIN LIFE"