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Joke of the Day

"Autocorrect changed fries to friend and I think I've offered to eat my friend. I'm not sure if I should clarify, or see where it goes."

"why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7,8,9."

"One day Joaquin Phoenix will be bitten by a zombie... ...and he will be called the Joaquin Dead"

"What's the difference between white students and black students? Black students bring the gun to school. White kids use it at school."

"""Why is everyone talking about me? They seem mad..."" -Temp worker at Foot Locker"

"What did the Redditor say at his wedding? TIL death do us part."

"How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None; they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend"

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar. Sits down. The bartender comes over and the ham sandwich says: > I'd like a triple of bourbon, neat. Bartender says: > I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."

"What idiot invented fire blankets? You'd think they'd be hot enough from the flames."

"Did you know that NASA sent a bunch of cows into orbit? It was the herd shot round the world."