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Joke of the Day

"How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None; they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend"

"What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ? A brick-layer !"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet Adele (Hello from the other side)"

"Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan."

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent P!"

"You know how I know we are gonna have sex? I'm stronger than you!"

"[job interview] What experience do you have plucking chickens? Me: See all those hairs on my chin? No. Me: Exactly."

"I don't think I could be a mom. Listening to another person cry all night just seems awful & I wouldn't want to impose that on a baby."

"If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to."

"Why did the blind guy have a burnt face? He answered the iron."