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Joke of the Day
"Apple launches new phone with no headphone jack, making it ideal for enjoying the free U2 album."
Next Joke
"You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring."
"You might Be a redneck if..... Your bananas and your wife have the same amount of bruises"
"[NSFW] I was seeing a girl once, five actually... Then the sorority started looking into the strange sounds in the attic."
"If your date asks what you do for a living, just say ""You let me worry about that."""
"If a tree farm is planted next to a cornfield ... and over time grows to steal sunlight from the cornfield, would that be farmed robbery?"
"A little boy and a little girl are in the bathtub together. The little girl looks down at the boy and asks, ""Can I touch it?"".... He answers, ""No way -- you already broke yours off!"""
"What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on? It twerked."
"Imagination: because if I fcuked you as much as I thought about it, we'd both be unemployed."
"Swedish Fish They aren't sweet, just sweet-ish."