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Joke of the Day
"What's red and not there? No tomatoes."
Next Joke
"What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable? putting them back in the wheelchair"
"How do heavy metal bands surf the web? On the Din-ternet."
"Haven't taken a dump in 4 days and I feel fine. Then again, I could just be full of shit."
"What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has a date for Valentine's Day."
"Just got back from Sam's Club - got a great new electric piano, 19 pack of BBQ lighters, and a impulse kayak - fuck forgot milk"
"What do you call a poor pepper farmer? A jalapeno pauper"
"Women who want to renew your wedding vows.... Why not renew the bachelorette party? You'd probably have more fun."
"What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider? You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry"
"Why am I still hearing noises from the class? Because you still have ears, teacher."