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Joke of the Day

"How do heavy metal bands surf the web? On the Din-ternet."

"Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs? In case he gets a hole-in-one"

"If you're looking for someone to mute the National Geographics channel and narrate the animals thoughts, look no further."

"My friend payed me to write a construction jobs for him. It's still a work in progress, just trying to get it hammered out. You know what, I think I just nailed it."

"How to make $500 fast Attach it to a rocket Credit: 4chan"

"Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless the question is ""What are you gonna do this weekend, Pauly?"""

"Matthew McConaughay is for Matthew McConaughorses"

"I got my sister a T-shirt and a dildo... That way, if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself."

"Pluto Its Self Ex-Planetary"

"I just found out that the guy who stole my journal has died. My thoughts are with his family."